Getting in Shape

I had a good laugh at myself the other night, I feel like in every facet of my life: I'm getting back into shape. The laugh had to do with my physical shape. For those of you that have known me for awhile, working out has been a huge part of my life. By no means was it my life, nor did I want it to be my profession, but I worked out 5 days a week. I once used to be in much better shape than I am now. So, instead of getting frustrated that I'm not as strong or as toned as I once was, I just laughed at myself. At this point in my life, I think I need to take this approach in every situation. Instead of getting mad (I still do at times), just laugh. I am blessed to have an athletic body type that it does take much time to get back into shape, but non-the-less it's still work, and I still need to do it. I've been lazy. I have completely lost focus of who I am-in every way of my life. From the food I consume, to working out, and what I truly believe about myself. I settled for what I thought was periodical bliss, with a little bit of fun thrown in; really I sold out for a lifeless death and had given up on everything I had wanted. Thank God I'm finally becoming myself again! I love feeling alive, knowing that I have everything within me to do great things. I know that's why I have been so unhappy for the past 2 years. I have such high expectations for myself, I expect to accomplish a lot, have meaningful relationships, and for the last 2 years I just floated through life. I was really disappointed and upset with myself. So, I'm done being disappointed. I'm done making decisions based on what others think I should do, or want me to do. I'm going to make myself proud. I'm going to be the person that I know I was created to be. My sister-in-law tells me often: "Good Decisions=Good Life, Bad Decisions=Bad Life." Even though I might sound like a broken record player throughout my blog, making good decisions is the goal.
 Back to getting in shape; that's the whole point of life, right, self discovery, growth, relationships and change. For me, this definitely applies to my own outlook of my dreams. I believe that we have to allow room for change even what we consider to our, “dreams and aspirations,” Sometimes something beautiful is born with a new idea. In my last blog, I wrote some about how I don't even know what I want to do with my life. That's the best part, is I don't have to know. I'm at peace with that now. I do have some direction thought now. I'm going back to school. I'll give more details later when everything is more firmed up, but I more than thrilled about the direction my life is moving! Without being too cliché, seize the moment, live your life passion. That’s how I’m going to live mine….

That’s all, for now….

I don't have a title today.

I've been thinking a lot lately. In fact, it seems that's all I can do is think. I find my mind constantly running through scenarios of what my life is and what my life could be like. I think I'm finally in a place where I am content and happy with myself, however I just feel like there is something more for me to do than what I'm doing. I’m not satisfied. I know satisfaction doesn't come with earthly things, but I think that if you are fulfilling your destiny, satisfaction follows. What is my destiny? This question has been plaguing me for a long time. I know my hopes and dreams, but they seem so ridiculous. My dreams seem so far out of reach…. Life is tuff. So the question remains, what is Kendra's destiny? What should I do with myself? I seem to always have so many questions and no answers. Maybe I don't shut-up enough to listen, but I can't keep up with this for too long, or life will pass me by. I had someone very dear to my heart tell me last night, "Kendra, you have one life, you have to live it. You know what I mean?" So I can type these words all day long; “I want to live a purposeful life”, but it means nothing unless I do it. Action is it all begins. I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do, new profession, back to school, travel the world, but I'm going to figure it out. I know there is a time and a season for everything in life. So, I wait, try to shut-up, and listen.

That’s all, for now…